Am I a good mother?
by Flower princess11
Summary: Helga gets anxious during her son's first day of preschool as memories resurface of her own first day. On this day, she asks the one question all mothers asks themselves during days like this.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hey Arnold or any of the characters. Hey Arnold is the property of Nickelodeon and Craig Bartlett.

* * *

 ** _Am I a good mother?  
_**

 _Hillwood_

 _2019_

It was an early fall morning in the town known as Hillwood. The sun has just barely risen and some people were only beginning to awaken, since its also not a typical day as it's the start of the school years and many parents would soon be in a tizzy, trying to get their children ready for another year of their education.

Though for some parents in this quaint little town, it's only the beginning of such a thing.

 _ **"YAY! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!.**_..'A little football headed boy cheered as he kept jumping up and down on his parent's bed, trying to wake them up.

"Your son is awake...'The mother muttered to her husband, who was still trying to get some sleep.

"Before breakfast, he's your son...remember...'The father whispered back to his wife, still feeling tired.

 _ **"WAKE UP!.**_.."The little boy suddenly shouted, startling them enough to open their eyes to see their still very energetic child.

"Andy, what time is it?...'The mother asked as she rubbed her eyes, still feeling tired.

"I dunno mommy, I just saw the sun come out...'Andy said innocently.

The mother yawned as she glanced to her alarm clock and saw that it was only 5:30 in the morning, much to early for either of them to be up.

"Sweetheart, its too early to be up..."Mommy said to her son, who pouted.

"But mommy, I am not tired...I'm too excited because now I'm going to school today...'The little boy said happily.

"Trust me sweetie, you might not feel sleepy now, but you will later if you don't get some more shut eye...so please go back to bed...'The mother pleaded...

'But mommy...'Andy started but his mother knew what he was going to say.

"Don't worry angel, classes don't start until 8 and I will make sure you will be there on time and not miss any of the fun...'The mother promised to her son who nodded.

The mother left with her child and tucked him back into bed, before rejoining her husband in bed.

"Andy really is excited isn't he, Helga?...' The father stated the obvious.

"What time is it now Arnold?...'The wife and mother asked her husband.

Yes, they are Arnold and Helga Shortman. Married for over 4 years and the proud parents of their only child, a little boy named Andrew Phillip, whom they affectionately call Andy, an adorable little boy that is no more than three years old.

"5:40, we got about 50 minutes left of sleep before we have to face the day, Helga...Helga?..."Arnold said.

It was then he realized that his wife had fallen back to sleep before he had even finished his sentence. He smiled before he followed her lead.

Today is a big day, and they needed all the rest they could get before they are ready to face it. The one day every parents knows will eventually come and some have trouble getting ready to face it...

Their child's first day of Preschool...

* * *

 _Later_

Arnold and Helga's alarm went off a lot sooner than they would have liked...or at the very least it felt like it. Either way they both got up, showered, got dressed, had their morning cup of coffee and now Helga has just served breakfast, her little boy's favorite to be more precise since today is his big day.

"Darling, I'm going to go wake Andy-kins up, can you mind the turkey bacon?..."Helga asked her husband.

"No problem, honey...'Arnold said as he went in front of the stove.

Helga smiled and soon went to her son's bedroom, which is right in front of their room. She entered the adorably decorated child's bedroom and she saw her little man still snug as a bug within his covers, holding his teddy bear and looking every bit like a little angel from heaven.

"Andy-kins...baby...it's time to wake up..."Helga said softly to her child, who was still in mid-sleep.

"Come on Andy, you were so excited this morning...it's your first day of school...'Helga said as she gently shook him.

That it, it was right then that her son's eyes sprung open and he practically jumped out of bed in excitement.

 _ **"YAY! SCHOOL STARTS TODAY!**_...'He shouted as he literally jumped into the land of the awake, causing his mother to gasp at his outburst.

"Glad to see your awake...'Helga giggled as her son got out of bed and started running around.

"Yay! School! I'm a school boy today...'Andy giggled as he ran to grab the backpack they packed tonight and some clothes and tried to dress himself up, but because he is just three and still has not developed much clothing coordination, he just made a little mess.

"Whoa there, my adorable little scholar, I know you are excited but aren't we forgetting something...'Helga asked her son, who finally stopped running around and tried to think.

And then his eyes widen when it came to him...

"Brush my teeth?...'Andy questioned.

"That's right and your bubble bath...'Helga said and her son pouted since he still didn't like baths all that much.

"But mommy, I took one last night and I'm not smelly...'Andy said as he even sniffed himself to make his point.

"No _"buts"_ mister, now come along, I'll run your bath while you brush your teeth..."Helga said in a stern voice to her pouty son before he sighed and did as he was told.

Helga tried hard not to giggle. Her little man is a little fire ball at times, but he is a sweet child and he always listens to his mommy, though at times, he needs to be reminded to do so.

* * *

 _At Breakfast_

Helga bathed Andy, made sure he brushed his teeth, dried him and got him dressed. He is now wearing his cute little red overalls, with a light blue T-shirt underneath, the little blue hat that once belonged to his daddy, and a pair of red and white light up sneakers, his favorites. He looked as cute as a button.

"There's my two favorite people...'Daddy Arnold said as he picked Andy up and gave him a big hug, and then gave his wife a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks for taking over my shift, dear...'Helga said.

"Anything for you, honey...'Arnold said before he gave her another kiss.

"Ew...yucky..."Andy made a face when he saw his parents kissing.

"What? You think mommy and daddy kissing is yucky?...'Helga said in a teasing voice.

"You know Helga, I think he might be a little jealous...'Arnold said with a mischievous voice and his wife smirked. Before Andy could protest, his parents both kissed him on each of his cheeks, and despite his resistance, he ended up laughing due to how ticklish he is.

"Mommy! Daddy! Stop! Hahaha...'Andy laughed as his mother placed him on his seat, which had a book on it to help give him a boost in order to reach the table better.

"Anyway champ, since today is your big day, mommy decided to make you a nice big breakfast...with the help of yours truly...'Arnold said.

"I only asked you to make sure the bacon didn't burn while I made sure Andy got ready, Football head...'Helga said as she placed her son's plate in front of him.

"I made you your favorite...Blueberry pancakes in the shape of a money just like you like it, with maple syrup, crispy turkey bacon and scrambled eggs...'Helga said as she presented the plate and saw her son's blue eyes lighten up with excitement.

"Yummy! Thanks mommy..."Andy said as he began to eat, happily munching on his pancake monkey.

Helga smiled as she saw this, happy that her little boy liked his breakfast.

 _"Mommy, where's my breakfast?...'A little girls voice echoed through her head._

 _"Oh...uh...hmmm...I think Olga left some of her award winning cheese omelets around? here!...'The dull voice of a young Miriam Pataki was heard as she handed a cold omelet to a three year old girl before leaving her alone._

Helga flinched and she shook her head. It was a memory she didn't want to recall right now, she just focused on eating her breakfast and speaking with her husband and their beloved son.

"How's breakfast sweetie?...'Helga asked suddenly.

"Delicious as always, my dear..."Arnold said before eating more of it.

"Thanks but I was talking to our sweet little Andy, here...'Helga said as she pointed at her son.

"Delicious as always, mommy..."Andy said, mimicking the way his father sounding, causing his mommy to smile.

"Thanks, Andy..."Helga said, happy that he was getting a good breakfast and that he likes it.

* * *

 _In the car_

As Arnold drove his Black mazda, Helga was checking some last minute details, just to make sure this entire day goes off without a hitch.

"Okay, Andy-kins, I packed your lunch box with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, some graham crackers, orange slices, apple juice and some yummy fruit salad for dessert...In your backpack I put some of the hand sanitizer I bought you, promise me that you will use it after using the bathrooms there..."Helga said, deep into _"mommy"_ mode.

"I promise, mommy...'Andy said.

"Okay, now remember that your little notebooks, pencils and crayons are in your backpack, along with your blanket for naptime, your little umbrella just in case it rains...along with your other neccesities...Remember to put it in the cubbie whenever you are not using it and to make sure you put everything back when school is over...'Helga reminded... 'Also, remember that if you have any questions, to ask your teacher Ms. Merryweather..." Helga reminded.

"I know mommy, I won't forget...'Andy said, making his mother smile.

Helga smiled, until she recognized a street that they were on, and the woman had faint memories of Chopin's music, rain and a lot of un-shed tears.

* * *

 ** _FLASHBACK_**

 _Over 25 years ago_

 _A little girl with blonde hair in pigtails, a pink boy in her hair and a pair of pink overalls had picked up her lunch box and glanced at the clock. She knew today preschool was suppose to start and she didn't want to be late. She tried to find her parents and she heard the sound of the piano playing, and thus, she knew exactly where to find her parents._

 _This little girl saw her parents watching her older sister playing the piano, just like they always do...and they haven't noticed her yet._

 _Again, nothing new either._

 _"That was wonderful, honey!...'Her mother said as she hugged her older sister after her son was over._

 _"You're a stinkin' genius!..."Her father said as he continued to admire his older child._

 _It was then that his younger child tried to get his attention, since she didn't want to be late for preschool..._

 _"Daddy, who's gonna take me to pweschool?..."The little girl asked as she tugged on his pant leg, trying to get his attention._

 _"Eh?...Oh, yeah, sure...'Daddy said before he turned back to his oldest daughter..." Come on, play us another one, Olga...'The father asked his daughter who was more than happy to comply._

 _"I know, how about the Minute Waltz by Monsieur Frederic Chopin?...'The girl Olga suggested and her parents nodded in approval, while they continued to ignore their youngest child._

 _"Oh! I love that one..."Mother said happily._

 _"Yeah! You should hear her play Beethoven, Miriam...'Father said in glee._

 _All the while, as they continued to gush over their darling Olga, the other daughter was still waiting, and getting more impatient...and sad that they still weren't taking her to preschool and she really didn't want to be late...but they still didn't notice her, they just kept going on and on about her big sister, saying the same things they say every single day._

 _"Can you believe our Olga? Concert pianist at 15! Class valedictorian!...'Mother gushed in absolute pride as she admired her daughter._

 _"Plus she's won every spelling bee in the whole darn city! Haha!...Makes me proud to be a Pataki...'Father said._

 _It was then that the little girl finally lost her patient and started tugging on her father's pant leg once again, not liking that they still weren't listening or noticing her._

 _"Hey, who's taking me to pweschool?..."The child shouted angrily, she knew that it was suppose to start soon and she really didn't want to be late._

 _"Yeah, in a minute, Olga...'Her father said in a half-hearted way before turning back to the oldest._

 _He didn't see the child's angry look turned into a sad one, over him getting her name wrong...again..._

 _"No, I'm Helga, Dad! Helga!...'The little girl, now identified as Helga said, feeling hurt that he did this to her again._

 _All she wanted was to get to preschool on time, couldn't they listen to Olga after that? It's not so much to ask, right?_

 _"Whatever. Go play outside, would ya?...'Her father said as he continued to ignore her._

 _That made the sad little girl sigh angrily before she walked away. She knew from experience that her daddy or her mommy were not going to notice her at all and she didn't want to be late for preschool either. So having no other choice, she took her lunch box and headed for the door. She knew the way since her parents had taken her there to get enrolled, and she didn't forget the way._

 _Still, she really wished they would come with her, is it really so big of a request?_

 _"I'm going to pweschool!...'Little Helga called, hoping that her parents would stop her and walk her there themselves._

 _Nope, they still didn't notice her, they still kept gushing over Olga._

 _"What do you know, one minute flat!...You're amazing, Olga!..."Father praised her once again and still ignored his other child._

 _That did it, the little girl finally had enough and got angry again._

 _ **"I'm going to pweschool!..."** She shouted loudly before she slammed the door shut on her way out._

 _She started walking down the streets and before she knew it, it started to rain. The poor little girl still walks herself through the stormy streets, feeling cold and scared as the cold rain continue to fall on her and she saw the scary sights of this place. She saw some mean and scary looking people and she just tried to walk faster._

 _"The sooner I get to preschool...the better...'The little girl thought as she tried to walk faster, only to run into a big, scary stray dog who stole her lunch box, right after a passing car splashed her with mud._

 _The little girl was shivering, the cold, icky mud all over her, the cold water freezing and she knows more and more that she is all alone here...alone...and scared..._

 _ **End of Flashback**_

* * *

"Helga...Helga honey?..."She suddenly heard her husbands voice snapping her out of her unwanted flashback.

"Huh?..."Helga said as she noticed that she was back to reality.

'I said we are here…" Arnold said.

Helga looked out the window and saw Urban Tots preschool. She blinked before she tried to make herself look normal again.

"Oh, great...see Andy, your new school..."Mommy Helga said as she pointed to the school while her adorable little son kept bouncing in his car seat in excitement.

"Oh boy!...'Andy said in excitement as his mother got him out of his car seat.

However before he could go inside, his mother and father stopped him.

"Wait Andy-kins, before you go inside...I...um...want to talk to you about something...'Helga said.

"I know mommy, always say pwease and thank you..." Andy said, thinking she was going to remind him to do stuff again.

'No...Well, yes that is good to know...but I...I just wanted to know if you feel...okay..."She started.

"Yes, I do mommy...'Andy answered.

"If you feel nervous little man, you can tell us..." Arnold said, feeling a little anxious himself due to this being his son's very first day of school.

"I feel fine mommy and daddy, I am really excited to go play with my friends and learn to be as smart as you guys...'Andy said sweetly.

"Thanks angel but I don't want you to be smart as us...since your even smarted than that and your just gonna keep getting smarter...'Helga said, making her son smile widely at the praise.

"Yes you are...our smart little guy...'Arnold said, trying to keep his emotions in check.

The two adults were silent before Helga pulled her son into a hug and Arnold immediately joined in...

"We love you..."Helga said.

"Very, very much..." Arnold continued.

"I love you guys too...'Andy said as he was still being hugged by his parents until the bell rang.

Once they let go, the family saw in the window that Andy's friend Kiara was already inside, along with a bunch of other children, whom they hoped that their precious little guy would become good friends with.

"Okay angel, you just go in there and stay close to Kiara, play nice with the other kids and listen to your teacher... Mommy and daddy promise to come pick you up later...'Helga said to her son as she continued to hug him and started kissing him too.

"Go on my little guy, you don't want to miss out on all the fun..."Arnold said to his son who nodded, though not before he kissed him on his forehead.

"Bye mommy...bye daddy..."Little Andy waved to his parents as he went to play with Kiara who was already playing with some blocks.

The two parents watched their beloved child blissfully play with his best friends and even more kids until the preschool teacher, Ms. Merryweather came to them.

"Are you sure, he's going to be okay...I packed a full lunch and extra snacks, along with an extra blanket and pillow for nap time..."Helga said in an insecure tone.

Ms. Merryweather just smiled, having experienced anxious first time parents many times before and just tried to reassure her.

"Don't worry Mrs. Shortman, your son will be just fine, now come now...mustn't dilly dally..."Ms. Merriweather said as she tried to escort the parents out.

"Bye Andy...Bye...Mommy will be back later..."Helga waved.

"Be good, champ...'Arnold said as the teacher escorted them outside.

Soon the door was closed and Arnold sighed, he didn't realize until now just how hard this was...It's Andy's first day of preschool and well, it was hard seeing his little guy already there...It feels just like yesterday Helga and him brought him home from the hospital, all snugged in that cozy little blue hospital blanket, sleeping peacefully like a little angel.

Their little angel from heaven...

 _"Where does the time go?...'_ Arnold thought as he cast a glance to his wife.

He stopped when he noticed the uneasy look on her face as she continued to look at the preschool entrance, where there son would be until they came to pick him up later today. He noticed that she looked like she was trying hard not to cry.

"Helga, come now...it looks like it's gonna rain...'Arnold said but his wife was still fixated at the door.

"Do you...do you think he'll be okay?...'Helga asked in a vulnerable tone, which Arnold knew the meaning of.

"Don't worry honey, Andy will be fine...Ms. Merryweather is the best preschool teacher in the neighborhood and Urban tots is a nice place, he'll be fine..."Arnold said, trying to be strong for her.

'Arnold...Am I a good mother?...'Helga asked her husband who was looking at her in surprise.

"Helga, what are you talking about? You're a wonderful mother...'Arnold said without a moments hesitation.

"Arnold, I try hard to be a good mom, but...I don't know, I always worry that I am going to mess up and mess him up like-.." She started but paused.

Arnold however, put the pieces together and knew what she is trying to say.

"Helga, you aren't like your parents were back then...I can say in the most unbiased way that Andy is lucky to have a mommy like you..." Arnold said.

"You mean it?..." She asked in an insecure tone, one that her husband was determined to get rid of.

" Helga, it's totally obvious to anyone that you love Andy more than anything, you are always so careful with him, you play with him, make sure he's well fed and he really loves you...that's only some of the things that you do that makes you an amazing mother...'Arnold said.

His wife finally looked back to him and had a small smile on her face.

"Now that's the face I like to see...Arnold said with a smile.

"I know you are right Arnold but...every once in a while...I worry that...that I might mess up, that I won't be the perfect mother he deserves..."Helga said, finally confessing the fear she has had for a long time.

That somehow or in some way, she might end up doing something to make her darling little Andy feel...what she felt when she was his age...She never wants such an awful thing to happen, her beautiful baby boy doesn't deserve such a thing...

"Helga...every mom in the world feels that way, but I can safely say that none of them are perfect because there is no such thing as the perfect mother...all they can hope to be is great mothers, like you...'Arnold said, making his wife smile even wider.

"How do you do it?...'Helga asked.

"What do you mean?...'Arnold questioned.

"How do you always know what to say to make me and everyone else feel better? You make it look too easy...'Helga said with a giggle.

"All I did is tell the truth...'Arnold said with a shrug, making his wife giggle at that.

"You know...you aren't the only one..."Arnold started.

"What?..."Helga questioned.

"I sometimes worry I might make a mistake with Andy...and he might feel sad because of me..." Arnold confessed.

'Why would you feel that way? You're the best father ever...'Helga said.

"I just do sometimes...I love my little guy and I just to see him smiling..."Arnold said.

"He really has the most beautiful smile..."Helga said happily as she thought about her baby boy.

"Yes he does...and the way it lights up whenever I see him playing with you...it's the most beautiful thing ever..." Arnold said, with the same kind of smile on his face. He then noticed that his wife is still smiling too.

"Despite it all, we have a great kid and I don't need to worry since he has such a wonderful mommy to take care of him..." Arnold said, making his wife smile even more.

"Not to mention a fantastic daddy who would do anything for him..."Helga pointed out.

"Not to mention he has great friends in there...and he knows that his parents will come to get him later..."Arnold said as he knew the source of Helga's worry.

Her memory of the first day of preschool wasn't good because she had to go by herself and got rained on because her parents forgot to take her. He knew that she was worried she would have done something to ruin Andy's first day...He knew because he worried about doing the same thing. He even made every effort possible to get time off from work so he would be here to see his little guy's first day and pick him up later...

His own first day of preschool wasn't all that great either since his parents had been missing but he tried to be strong and happy for his grandpa and he tried to make some friends...and in the end he did make some friends, and met his future wife, even if he didn't know at the time.

Such a memory brought a smile to his face...

"You know something, Helga..." Arnold started.

'What?...'Helga asked him.

"We are standing on the same spot where we first met...'Arnold said.

Helga blinked when he said that and couldn't help but smile. As bad as her first day of preschool had started, it was still a special day to her, because that was the day that she met the love of her life, the one who gave her a reason to smile in her hard life and the one whom gave her the strength to face her struggles and come out on top, as the strong and ultimately happy person she is to day.

Her beloved Arnold Shortman, whom she had loved since that day and every day after that...the one whom she knew she would love for the rest of her life and whom she is proud to know is her husband.

"This is the spot where you protected me from the rain with an umbrella...and told me that you liked my pink bow..."Helga said with a nostalgic smile on her face, which her husband shared.

"Amazing how we can still remember that, even after all of these years...'Arnold said as he took her hand.

"How could I forget? This is the place where I met my soulmate, and the one I knew I would marry...'Helga said as she held his hand even tighter as the memory came back to her...

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _Over 25 years ago_

 _At Urban Tots preschool_

 _Little Helga, still covered in mud, had tried hard not to cry as the rain continued to fall as she continued her quest to get to Urban tots preschool before anything else happened to her, though to be honest, she didn't think it really could get much worse than this._

 _"I'm cold...I wish the rain would just stop...'The muddy little girl thought as she continued to walk, hoping that she wouldn't start crying...again..._

 _Her wish was granted as she suddenly felt the rain drops stop falling on her, but she could see that it is still raining..._

 _'Huh?...'Helga thought as she glanced up to see and umbrella covering her, and then looked and saw a little boy standing next to her, holding the umbrella that was keeping her dry._

 _A boy with a head that was shaped like a football, and he is smiling at her._

 _"Huh?...'Little Helga thought as she looked at the boy more._

 _She never really seen another boy before, she knew what they were since she seen some playing out from the window, but she didn't see one this close until now..._

 _And all she could do was think that he is... **cute...**_

 _"Hi...Nice bow...'The boy said and she heard his voice for the first time._

 _"Huh?...'Little Helga thought, confused...Why is he being so nice to her? He doesn't even know her..._

 _"I like your bow, because it's pink like your pants...'The little boy said as he continued to shield her from the rain until the entrance, where he went inside._

 _Little Helga was surprised, until she looks up at her bow and touches it, and then smiles. She suddenly felt something warm inside her and she didn't feel or even notice the cold rain anymore. She felt...she felt something she couldn't remember feeling before...she felt...happy_

 _She went to look at the nice little boy once more, even pressing her face against the glass door and just admire the cute boy that was so nice to her._

 _"Oh...'She sighed dreamily as she felt something she thought only happened in the fairy tale books in her room or on the movies she had seen on TV._

 _She might be three years old but she wasn't stupid. She knew what this feeling is...the feeling she felt when she looked at the cute, football headed boy, she knows what it is._

 _It's **love...**_

 _ **End of Flashback**_

* * *

"As lousy as that day started, I am glad it happened...because despite it all, I met you and look where we are now. .." Helga said to her husband, who kept smiling at her adoringly .

Suddenly they heard some thunder and they saw that it was beginning to rain.

"Oh perfect..."Helga said, hoping to get to the car before they get drenched.

Arnold look at her and he smiled as he got a great idea. He opened up his green umbrella and began to cover his wife, getting her attention again...

"Hi...nice bow. ..."Arnold said suddenly, getting a look from his wife.

"Huh?..." Helga questioned, wondering what he is talking about, she's not wearing any bow.

"I like your bow...because it's pink like your pants. .." Arnold said with a smile on his face.

Helga's eyes widen when she realized what he is doing and all she could do is smile widely and give him a kiss as her response.

"I love you..." Was all that she could say after that.

"I love you too..." Arnold said as the rain continued to fall, and only his umbrella kept them dry.

The two, very much in love adults walked back to their car, with the umbrella keeping them dry, and left the preschool that held so many memories for them, both good and bad, but especially good. They will come back soon, in a few hours to pick up their child, whom they had faith would have many happy memories here at this school., just like his parents before him.

The school where his parents found each other and fell in love, even if they didn't understand at the time. It really is amazing what one rain storm and a little green umbrella could lead too...

 ** _The End_**

* * *

 ** _:) Till next time beautiful people, remember to read and review :)_**


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